Lately, I've come to some kind of very bad realisation. The realisation that I don't really give a crap about other people anymore. Or rather, that I don't give a crap about people who are standing in my way on the path to perfect happiness.

This is best examplified by the fact that when I meet a girl who makes me grin in that way, I really don't care what she's doing. I don't care if she's attached, I don't care if she's serious about the other guy, I don't care if she needs to concentrate on her studies.

All I care about is that she starts going out with me.

I try over and over to rationalise this to myself. I mean sure....it ain't all that ETHICAL. But really, come on.

She likes me. I like her. He's not here. I am.

I take her to dinner. Walk her home through the park. Talk on the park bench. And when we get to her place, I try to kiss her.

She backhands me. I grin and try again, and this time, its a lot less painful.

Somewhere inside, I get this little feeling that what I'm doing isn't right in some way.

What is right? Isn't it right just feeling happy as long as you're not hurting anyone else? Isn't that right?

Because as far as I'm concerned, she's never gonna regret going out with me. So its not like I'm just dragging her into something she doesn't want just to make myself happy.

If you can't keep em, whose fault is it?

And that's only the beginning of the train of thought. Because if keeping them means hurting them in the short term, does that make things right?

So many questions, so few answers.

I wonder if we really have to experience it before we know it.

Because if that's so, it would mean I need to contract AIDS to sympathise with people with AIDS. And that simply doesn't make any sense.

Nothing makes sense sometimes.

Goodnight.