yesterday i was chatting with my friend, and she told me that girls liked funny guys..which was obviously a lie :p but anyways so i pressed on, i said 'i'm a funny guy! but girls don't seem to like me!' and then she said 'you have to be really funny' and i said 'i don't think girls would like clowns' and she said 'you'd be suprised' and i just left it at that..
today, i while i was driving i was thinking 'shit, if dumbass wasn't funny as hell, then i don't know what is!' i mean since i'm in it, that should actaully make me a fucking clown! and so would the rest of us in the movie! but at the moment the only one who is attached is Win Yew..and he has stopped doing stupid things (i think a girl friend just sucks the stupidity out of you :P) so my friend was obviously a liar..
the following has been written from all my past experiences..so they have been true for me..but i guess it varies with everyone else, but what the heck :p
just now as i was doing the laundry
and i just thought about this and decided the topic for my post tonight
you know what's harder than asking a girl out?
..it's getting her answer
you never know what she's gonna say..it's either a 'yes' or something else..something else almost always being 'no' in the end..
e.g. 'maybe', 'we'll see', 'i'm not sure', 'i'm not well', 'i'm not up for it', 'i might have plans', 'i'll get back to you'..and countless similar words and phrases that they can come up with in a split second..girls are really good at that- i know, cos..i know :p
well whether or not her excuses are true, the fact that she gave you an excuse not to go out with you ultimately meant that she doesn't want to go out with you anyway..so you say 'what if they're really not free?' well did they suggest another date instead? if the answer is 'no', then you never had a chance when you first asked her and you should consider giving up- no wait you should give up..but again it's not that easy if you really liked her and thought things would get somewhere, but then i'm not here to address that problem :p
i mean if she really wanted to go out with you, but really cant (her excuses are valid, she's not lying :p) then she will suggest another day..unless she's playing hard to get..then..i have no idea..haha
if the girl suggests another date instead, then she's giving you a chance to take her out..if she cancels her current plans to go out with you instead, she shows an interest in you, and that's good..it should be safe to continue pursuing her if the outing goes well..provided you want to..
and finally, if you're still unsure whether or not a girl will go out with you when you ask her out, you have to analyse her response..if you didn't even mention any details (e.g the date, time and venue), and she gives an uncertain reply (i'm not sure, we'll see) or an outright 'No' then you know for sure she's not interested..really..she wouldn't go out with you even if you ask her out everyday for the whole of next week..and the week after..unless you change the situation (make her fall for you etc..but i'm no master in that haha)..if you've provided the details and she gives an uncertain reply, you might have a chance, but again, it's probably a 'no' because- they never get back to you about it, unless you ask them again (which then they will then give you a certain 'no')*
in my opinion- girls should just give a straight-forward 'no'..it's not about 'hurting a guy less' if you give him an obscure answer, it's saving the guy the trouble of trying to figure out what she means so that he can make plans to go out with his other friends instead :p
how to turn that menacing little brat into your best wingman you will ever have, i present to you- the greatest scheme in the world!
haha not really the greatest scheme in the world, but one of the best ones i have ever come up with today..until i realised that it was similar to the one adam sandler used in 'big daddy' and so it's not so good anymore :p
today in megamall, i was with my little sister and i saw this really hot chick, and since my sister wanted to borrow 10 bucks from me, i said to her 'if you get me her number, i'll give you the 10' she didn't do it in the end, she claims she didn't see her! but i thought that was nonsense! i bet she was just too scared! haha suddenly, this brilliant scheme popped into my head! i'll tell my little sister to pretend that she was lost, and she'll borrow some hot girl's hand phone, and call me up, and then i'll 'find' her again while she's with the hot girl! and it would give me a chance to talk to the hot girl! (i assumed) my sister wasn't brave enough (haha) but then she said that she was too old for this!
so i thought for awhile..if she was too old..then i'd need to get someone younger..and i realised- my little cousin! he's the cutest 5 year old kid i've ever seen in my life and i think he'll grow to be a super hot guy and will be a chick magnet, but at this point of his life he seems more interested in spiderman figurines than in girl's breasts, so he's pretty much as useful as a gay when it comes to picking girls up..haha i shall take advantage of his naiveness and use him to help me get what i can't get at the moment- the oppisite sex! hahaha
i devised a plan:
1) i'll put a piece of paper with my name and phone number inside his pocket or his bag when we go out
2) i find a suitable hot girl (one who doesn't look like she'd kidnap my cousin (or i'd be in deep shit :p) and one with a handphone)
3) i'll let daniel wander towards her and act as if he was lost, and then talk to the girl and ask her whether he could borrow her phone to call me- in the meantime i'll be just watching from a distance
4) i'll talk on the phone with daniel and say 'i'll be right there! stay where you are!'
5) i'll find them and tell the girl 'thank you thank you so much' and she'll probably tell me 'oh your cousin is soo cute!' and stuff like that, and i'll say 'well we're going for lunch now, and i think that he'd like you to come along' and she can't refuse and she'll come along, and we'll end up getting to know each other over lunch, and a trade of phone numbers etc.. hahahahahaha!
things to do before hand: you have to train your little wingman to act lost, and the words to say, and know where to look for your phone number! he mustn't turn and run back to you when you leave him to do his stuff, you can't be seen, and your wingman must be well behaved as well- nobody likes annoying little shits!
hahahahaha i have no idea if this shit would work, but it sounds pretty good to me! if any of you do happen to use this plan, let me know the results!
- you can't get cheated on: neither can you cheat anyone :p but that's the magic of it!you can go out with a different girl every day of the week, and it wouldn't be wrong because you have nobody to answer to! unless the girl you were going out with was cheating on her current boy friend, who happens to be overly possessive and jealous, and works out every other day in the gym, you should have no problems!
- you're not expected to do anything: nobody is there to expect them from you- e.g. a demanding girl friend might want you to call her everyday, buy her stuff, eat with her, have sex with her whenever she wants etc, but if you didn't have one, you didn't have to!
- you get to spend all your money on yourself :p you wouldn't have to spend all that extra money that you've been saving, for your car's turbo charger or your new guitar, on some special gift on a special occasion for your significant other- because you don't have one!
- you get to check out other girls when you're shopping or walking around or anywhere else for that matter, and it wouldn't be wrong! there's no guilty conscience to tell you that the only girl on your mind should be 'her' and you won't have to be worrying if 'she' is checking out other guys when you're not with her- cos you don't have 'her'!
- you won't have to fear heartbreak, and you won't have to be worried about breaking other girl's hearts! no partner, no pain! hahahaha
- you don't have to chose your girl friend over your friends anymore the next time a kickass movie comes out and your girl friend asks you to watch it with her first- even though you made a promise 5 years ago with your best buddies that you'd watch the movie together on the opening night- you don't have to chose one and feel bad for the other!
- you get to write stuff like what i'm writing and you wouldn't get scolded by your girlfriend!
have you ever been in the situation where someone pays you a
compliment but you don't believe them? there's always something in the back of your mind saying 'oh maybe he/she is just being nice'
and then whenever you pay someone a compliment, you know how they always deny it?
is it human nature to deny praise?
some say it's being humble, but i say it's being stupid
like i know (and you probably know to if you're a guy) when girls say
'do i look fat?' and then you tell them 'no' because that is the
expected answer! unless she is fat- but fat girls never ask
that question (its usually the stick thin under 50kg girls who say
this), so she's not fat, but then your answer isn't what the problem
is, it's her response which usually goes: 'don't lie!' or 'ya right!'
'but i think i look fat!' and then you say 'no i'm not lying!' or
something like that, and it goes on..
don't ask for a compliment if you're just going to deny it! and don't
deny compliments when they're given, just listen to them and believe
them if you want to..if you think they're lying and they're just
saying it to make you feel better, then you're one insecure
moron..compliments do alot to boost self esteem and i think they were
meant for that purpose..not to bring you down..that's why they're
called compliments
You know when you look at a girl and she looks back at you, and you have like eye contact for a split second, and then she gives you a smile- and it makes your day?
So I was wondering, do girls feel that way to? If you give them a smile when they look your way, does it make their day?
If what goes around comes around, then I believe it is a good idea to smile at any girl who makes eye contact with me (provided she's remotely physically attractive (yes call me shallow :p) haha)
If I want girls to smile at me, I'll have to smile at them..first i need to learn how to smile :p
i can never pull of a smile without looking stupid..because i can't smile on cue, the only time i can ever smile is when i'm just about to burst out in laughter- everytime i want to laugh i just think of something funny- usually it's a scene from dumbass :P think- win yew running across the highway or having sex with the head haha..if i try to smile, it looks really stupid and unnatural! at times it even looks perverted!
i've tried practicing in front of a mirror but it doesn't work! all i can pull off is a big ass 100 metre grin! i can't grin without showing my teeth, and i can't smile with my teeth hidden, i'm a failure at smiling :( hahaha
but yeah, the next time you make eye contact with someone you find attractive, give them a smile and, if the person is anything like me, he/she will become weak at the knees and happier for the rest of the day :P
how come nobody watches smallville for the black dude?
its like every guy watches it for lana or chloe and every girl watches it for lex or clark..but nobody ever watches it for the black dude who is clark's best friend! i mean, what's up with that? nobody ever likes the black dude! haha i bet if clark was black, nobody would watch smallville
you ever notice in reality tv shows, there's always only one black dude? and sometimes one black girl? take survivor for instance, and the apprentice..how come?
and if you ever watch horror movies or anything that involves people getting killed, the black dude always dies first! Always! and i have no idea why :/
you know when people tell you-
'call me, i'm always here for you'
'call me, i'm here to listen'
'call me, i'll be your shoulder to cry on'
like fuck that shit, seriously, if someone did care about you, you shouldn't be the one who's looking for them- they should be there for you, calling YOU instead..if not what's the point of them saying those words in the first place?
it's just like a dude who's walking along the streets and he comes across his friend who has been beaten up and is barely concious, lying in a pool of blood..the dude just walks by him without offering to help- because his friend didn't ask for it..
just now i was thinking about love/like/infatuation/crush/whatever..anyways, if you like a girl, who's your friend, and she finds out about it (from you or other people), unless she returns the same feelings, your friendship is fucked up, and can never go back to the way it was before..
i mean, when they find out about it and they don't like you, they either- a: avoid you or b: ignore you or c: they avoid and ignore you, so you really can't do much about it
when they don't see you, they don't have to listen to you, and by not listening to you, they don't have to feel bad blowing you off..maybe ignorance is bliss..
I have a question because i seriously have no idea- how the hell do all these slimming centres work anyways? everyday i come across their ads in news papers and i see all these fat women become slim..but the advert never says what goes on at the centre! what the fuck goes on?! what the hell do the girls/ladies do there? Exercise? or do they take drugs? or liposuction? seriously! somebody needs to enlighten me :p
kids who think about suicide are stupid..the smart ones just go ahead and do it..hahahaha no really..i mean, they say that only cowards take their own life..but i think it's much harder to put a knife to your own throat than to go on living..maybe it's just me haha but anyways, if you even think about commiting suicide, over some small problem, no wait- over ANY problem, you don't deserve to live anyways..i mean, seriously, nobody should ever think about taking their own life..it's just stupid and moronic and (insert synonym here)
i remember reading the shit people send to 'dear thelma' in the sunday star awhile ago, and there was this dude who wanted to commit suicide cos his life was a mess..and this other girl who wanted to commit suicide cos she thought she was lesbian or something..whatever, suicide is stupid, and stupid people do stupid things..
i'll never forget my valentine day during year 10 of my highschool at GIS. it wasn't because it was the happiest day of my life..yes was unforgetable but it wasn't the best day of my life..haha i remember i had a crush on this girl named Shu Ting..i had no idea what i saw in her, but for some reason i was attracted to her :p anyways she was a new student, and i hardly knew her and vice versa, but that didn't stop me from sending her 3 dedications on valentines day..yes, i sent her 3 chocolates and each one with a different poem..that cost me about 15 bucks altogether..well it also cost me my pride.. hahahahahai'll never forget that day.. at the end of the day, we had the same class, chemistry, she walked up to me, and my head was going: oh man, what is she going to say? from the look in her eyes i knew it wasn't gonna be 'oh i feel the same way about you to! let's make out in the bathroom! even better yet, let's fuck!' haha but no..she didn't say anything, she came up to me, and put the 3 chocolates and the cards on the shelf where my bag was and she walked off..damn! i was hit in the face..like bitch slapped..i was owned! and that sucked..it felt like shit :p hahaha so anyways, i was alone at that time (she had the courtesy to make sure that nobody was around? i have no idea) and nobody knew what happened..nobody knew she refused the chocolates i sent..nobody had to know..unless she told her friends..what did i do? i told my friends all about it! hahaha and like all friends would have done- they laughed at me! and well i laughed along with them :p we started joking about why she refused them- maybe she was lesbian, maybe she doesn't eat chocolates, maybe she was on a diet, hell whatever reason we could come up with that would make us laugh :p anyways after laughing alot, i got over it and my day brightened up..so i figured that jokes are a good way to overcome loads of things!
